The Boundary of Reciprocity

For decades, I lived my life with what I now would say was a naive assumption: that most people live by the Golden Rule of "do unto others as you would have done unto you." 

They don't.

A large percentage of the human population lives first for self without much, if any, thought for their common man.

I look around -- all around -- at the brokenness of civilizations.  Simply put civilizations are no longer civil.  It's an "every man for himself" mentality that we bump up against every day, and we have the rash marks to prove it.

For me, I have drawn a line in the sand in recent years, and revisit the boundary periodically to make sure it is still visible to myself and others. 

After years of giving, when it defied logic to keep doing so, I developed a boundary of reciprocity in my life. This means that if a relationship does not actively seek to give back, I will stop sowing in that field.

It's common sense and natural law, if you think about it. 

A wise farmer will not continue to plant seeds in a field that does not yield a healthy harvest. 

We should all take a lesson from this.  

And as an important caveat here, ONLY God can heal the field; both ours as well as theirs. Each person is responsible for their own condition - whether they surrender to God and let Him do the "soil work" - or keep possessing the field in its sin degraded state.

The Bible speaks of sowing and reaping.  It is important that we walk with wisdom and let consequences/reaping of poor sowing be what it is.  Too many, while good intentioned, use their own strengths to absorb the poor behaviors of others, buffering the true results of poor soil. 

Did Jesus do this? Was such acceptance and absorption the model He presented?  No, it was not.

I have learned that loving does not mean self-sacrifice. Love - true, pure Love - builds up ONE ANOTHER. It seeks to encourage the best, even as the other reciprocates seeking to encourage the best.  It does NOT seek to take and take without end.  

So, today - I charge YOU with drawing your own boundary of reciprocity in your relationships. You will be the healthier for it..... and ultimately, so will your neighbors. 

And if you are someone who primarily lives for self, to take from others without giving back, check yourself - aspire to shift by wholly surrendering to God.... not in-part.... but the whole of you. 

To be of God means you are a giver; not a chronic taker. That's the plumbline. You either are or you are not.  Choose wisely, because God will not be mocked.....He too has boundaries. 

Home Is Not Where The Familiar Is

I walked outside for the first time this new year, and immediately I was hit with this thought, "Home is where the familiar is."  

It's a lie, but it doesn't sound like one to many who hear it.

We all want what the word home invokes; comfort, the familiar, an exhale of the soul, but where are we looking?

Audibly I spoke out loud, "That thought is a lie.  Home is where You are, and where You are is rarely familiar or known, but rather discovered progressively." 

To walk with God, one becomes very accustomed to discovering life in "real time." 

For the Christian, we have a personalized Guide who has promised to never leave us, but many elect to walk away from Him for the familiarity of past knowns, even if those are unhealthy.

We love our comforts; don't we?  The familiar foods, the familiar TV shows, the familiar bed, the familiar routines..... the familiar.

What we don't seem to take seriously is that we are our own enemy.  You can't change your life apart from Him because your brain will absolutely keep you looped --- chained -- to the familiar.   

He meets us at our point of desperation to set the captive free.  

The question then becomes how desperate are you for LIFE and liberty over the (chains of the) familiar?

When we adhere to the familiar over the call of God, we, by default, forfeit what He has for us.  

He couldn't give the Israelites their promised land, until they answered the call to leave the familiar.

They could have stayed in Egypt.  

And you, too, can stay right where you are in 2026. 

Permit me to ask: as you begin your brand new year, what is God calling you to?  I can guarantee you it will not be the familiar.  If answered, it will stretch you beyond where you thought your limits were.  But I also guarantee you that if you answer His call, you will not end your 2026 the same as you are beginning it.

Simply put, home is NOT a feeling; it is a real time relationship with the One who created you....a surrendered, obedient, unfamiliar, stretching, yet profoundly adventurous and life-changing relationship with Home personified.  

As a Christian, we have been trained to think of Home as Heaven - a destination.  But if we dare to change the mental script to Him as Home - it best fits our enteral path we ARE actively traversing with Him in the now, IF we elect to do so.

What are you waiting for?  Discover Home this year.  🤍

God's Drawing

With coffee mug in hand, I sat down upon the same spot I have sat down upon for over nine hundred mornings thus far since relocating. 

I crave this spot first thing in the morning, but this morning was different. The craving was intensely flipped. God was waiting for me.

The gift of being pursued.

In the Christian faith, much emphasis is placed upon the believer to pursue God.  To set apart time to study His Word.  To seek His counsel.  And while those are crucial disciples of the faith, the reality is HE first pursued us. THAT was the beginning. 

Paul even wrote a warning in Galatians to us:  Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?

Pure love is not earned, and it certainly is not kept by our doing.  As a matter of fact, the reality that Pure Love is gifted unmerited is what sets it drastically apart. 

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19

When you abide in His pursuit as the object of His affection, ones entire world not only looks different; it IS different.

Recently I was conversing with someone about knowing  - leaning into - the character of God. If we focus on that filter, ALL doubts dissipate.  

It no longer is about our worthiness drawing His affection, His care, or His presence.

As God said to Moses: I am who I am.

He shows up.  

He heals us.  

He leads us out of wildernesses. 

He leads us to green pastures and quiet waters.

Why?

Because He loves us.

No strings attached.

No hoops to jump through.

It's not about performance.

It's about heart posture.

First, His towards us.

Then, ours towards Him.

Once love abounds, the concept of Jesus being Lord of my life is both natural and right.

The created finds safety in His Lordship, not restriction.

His ways are protection, not punishment.

John 10:9 reads: I am the gate; whoever enters through Me will be saved. They will come in and out, and find pasture. 

No fear. 

No doubt.

No worry. 

Only assurance.

Only safety.

Only provision.

I trust you know His pursuit, but if you don't, consider His invitation:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door; I WILL come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 

Revelation 3:20

This Christmas season I pray you answer the knock at your own heart's door.  

He came to this earth to seek and save those who are lost, wandering around hopeless - wondering, "What is the point to any of this?"

He's waiting for you.... will you answer His knock?  

I pray you do.....

Merry Christmas, all!  🤍

Tension

As I sat with the Lord recently, I became keenly aware that my upper body was holding tension for no reason other than habit. 

It was subtle, and if I was not sitting in stillness, I likely would not have been aware of it in the slightest. I breathed deeply while instructing my body to release and let go. Immediately, the tension left. 

I have been in a season of intentionally rewiring my mind. A few years ago, my physical circumstances shifted out of chronic, daily chaos into peace; thus God's fulfillment of a word He gave to me years ago: "Then My people will dwell in a peaceful place, in safe and secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." (Isa 32:18)  

It's been a lengthy process of regaining my physical strength, and an even lengthier process retraining my mind. Though longer than I would have imagined, the journey has been an exceedingly rewarding one. 

The present -- today -- holds the tension of space between the past and the future.  

Depending on life's circumstances, that space can be fluid and relaxed, tight and tense, and everything in between.  Much like I directed my body to release and let go, we do hold the power to do likewise over today, no matter our yesteryears. 

Will we let the tight and tense rob us of today's joy and ease?  

Or will we let the fluid and relaxed rob us of today's stewardship?  

You see, the tension of today isn't a negative unto itself.  It is simply a space holder, much like a tightrope between two points.  It's a matter of perspective, followed up by proper action.

How often do we listen to our thoughts that talk us into a sense of neutrality; where neither joy is experienced nor stewardship is achieved?   

Some are convinced that life's circumstances are less than ideal, unfair even, so they self-soothe with victimology.

Others play their days away because they have been convinced in their minds stewardship is too exhausting, so why bother.  

But neither is truth.  These are mental scripts we haven't properly weighed, sorted, and discarded as the lies they are.

The truth is we have a mighty God who has our days held in His hands; who is shaping, creating, redeeming, and enabling our life to greater and greater victories in Him and through Him IF we walk with Him, obeying His instructions.

I was reminded of Naomi from the Book of Ruth - who grieved loss - and yet, in time, God replaced her grief with great joy. She's one of many examples of God's ability to shape our faith and our victories through trying circumstances if we don't relent. 

Be mindful of today's tension, and its quality. 

Remember, we do not always possess the ability to control circumstances, but we always have the ability to control how we respond.  

Will we reign over life's circumstances through our faith in our sovereign God -- or will be allow them to reign over us, spinning our thoughts, moods, and emotions off our intended path and into the weeds?  

I encourage you to consciously celebrate today - not because of feelings nor circumstances - but because God reigns.  He sees you, He cares, and He longs to hold today's tension, redeem yesterday, and create a joy-filled tomorrow!  The question is will you walk with Him and see greater and greater victories come.... or will you succumb to a false narrative?  

Word of warning: Neutrality doesn't actually exist.  It's an illusion.  You are either progressing or regressing.

Remember, as a man THINKS, so is he.  (Prov 23:7) 

Peace 🤍

The Gift of Triage, Healing, and Recovery!

 We all know individuals who stubbornly hold onto unhealthy patterns.  The thing about those unhealthy patterns is not only do they negatively impact the individual holding to the patterns, but they also negatively impact those around them.  

While God's love is unlimited, His grace is limited, as we discover by reading Romans.  In a unique dynamic of Love, we learn that He will turn people over to their persistent, unhealthy patterns (ie their gods).

Arguably the greatest move of Love is free-will.  

YOU get to choose the life you live; likewise, so do those around you.  

I have spent the past year in triage, healing, and recovery from the results of decisions people close to me had every right to make.  

But, again, likewise, I had the choice to detach from them or continue my close walk alongside the unhealthy patterns of others.

Every day, people self destruct.  Addictions, debt, pride, fear  - to name a few destructive patterns - cripple so much of the population.  Christians and non-Christians alike. Surely, you know that transformation is a completely separate process than salvation.  Both processes are choices we make.  We can align with one or both or neither.  The decisions we make concerning both are entirely ours to make.  

While you cannot control the decisions of those around you, you can  - and greater still - are expected to control yours and choose wisely. 

I have said this time and again:  wise stewardship starts with you; monitoring your thoughts and behaviors minute by minute towards those that are honoring and pleasing to God. 

Let's carefully read God's words in Deuteronomy 30, as if we were reading them for the first time:

"See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.  IF you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in HIS ways, and by keeping HIS commandments and HIS statutes and HIS rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it.  BUT if your heart turns away, and you elect to not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods (appetites/drives)  and serve them, I declare to you , that you WILL perish.  You WILL NOT live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess.  I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  THEREFORE, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding FAST to Him, for He is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."

How many parents reading this desperately want their children following God, yet they themselves serve their flesh daily?  Remember, while people are responsible for their own lives, our individual choices and their impact do not occur in a bubble. They have their impact on those around us for the good or the bad.  Today's lingo is "influencers".  The truth is we are ALL influencers to those around us, whether we want to be or not!  Our actions affect those around us. Whether they are a positive or negative influence depends on if we are actively choosing what brings life or death into our individual life.   Understand this clearly: You will NOT have a positive impact on others while making negative personal choices.  

At the core to the passage above is God's LOVE for His creation.  Who do we think we are to think we know best?  Does a toddler know what is best?  Of course not.  This is why Paul edified us to GROW UP.  A mature adult chooses what is healthy over what is not.  They put away their foolish desires for taking up what will enhance their life, and an additional by-product - enhance the lives of those around them!

Learn this core precept:  

God's desires for you come from a place of love, 

not restriction!  

If you are diligent to nurture this mental script daily, it will change your daily choices, and thus your life's outcome!

Praising Him for enveloping my life;  for His wisdom, for His leadership, for His healing!

Godspeed! 🤍

The Gift of God's Thumb

I awoke to a New Year.....2025, what will it bring my way?   

I sat with the Lord in the early morning hours and soon began sensing His thumb. 

One of my personal goals was to not bring the past into 2025.  Let me be more specific; it was to not bring the negatives from the past into 2025. 

It was an honorable goal before the Lord. As a matter of fact, this was my petition before the Lord for the entire month of December.  

It wasn't long sitting with the Lord before I realized what He was highlighting in me that aligned with this personal goal: cynicism.   

Cynicism is the propensity to distrust others and their motives. 

If the past three decades trained me in anything, it's this. 

But cynicism is a cancer in the soul.  It eats away at true faith, true hope. And it is terrifyingly subtle. 

To distrust is to inherently dislike, and if we are not careful, we will find the object of our dislike to be humanity itself; the very object that Christ came to seek and save.  

How can we walk in union with Him if we dislike what He loved unto death?  

Now, be careful here so as to not misunderstand me. I am not encouraging anyone to stay in close proximity to damaging individuals, but the caution comes when we overlay the negative experiences of one relationship upon all relationships. It is a natural tendency that must be countered in God's power and with His wisdom.  

If we are not careful, our negative experiences subtly replace our trust in God FOR life's experiential knowledge. I don't know about you, but I never want to abide in the space where life's experiences have superseded my trust in my Creator such that I lean more into them than Him!

I sat with Him, realizing the blessing of His thumb. What He applies His thumb to in our life, He heals IF we confess, acknowledge, and release into His hands, our Healer's hands.  

I acknowledged the truth of what He was pointing out, and I found myself with such overwhelming gratitude concerning the awareness that He was intent on removing cynicism from my life.  It will be a walking out of, to be certain; a decision to not be immediately suspicious of people's motives. Understand, I cannot say I trust Him, while at the same time, guarding my heart and being all but misanthropic.  

This is all apart of His command to "turtle no more", (linked here) to be restored as a fully functioning believer who is planted upon a solid, non-contradicting foundation.  

I have to acknowledge my past had led to a foundation with cracks in it; where action didn't always align with belief nor belief with action. I don't want that to be the case moving forward.   In fact, it can't be the case moving forward if I am to walk in all that God has stored up for me.  

God's thumb is indeed a gift because with it comes healing to my fractured soul and greater freedom in His spirit.  

May you, too, sit with Him. What area of your own life do you sense Him putting His thumb on? 

Resist bristling to the conviction, and understand liberation is a mere breath away in the utterance of two simple, yet powerful words: Yes, Lord.

Godspeed! 🤍

Turtling No More

Through the years, I have had this saying, "I'm turtling." 

Those two words were understood by my closest affiliations to mean, "I need to detach from my circumstances and curl up with God for a time."  

For whatever the reason, the "noise of life" had been turned up to the point where I felt retreat into my inner sanctum was my only choice.  My instincts ratcheted up to that of survival and that meant retreat....for a time.  

Well, simply put, 'for a time' turned into years.  

As has been my practice for decades, I reserve the time between Christmas and New Year's to consecrate myself to God afresh and lean into what He shares about the closing year and the new year beginning.  In raising three children, that dedicated week was both a nonnegotiable and a gift. 

Now that they are grown and married, I have expanded that week to the month of December.  

This morning, as I sat with the Lord, I heard Him speak to my spirit, "Turtle no more." 

He went on to share.  

You see, the past three decades of life had become more like a three ringed circus.  While there had been a few blessed experiences dotted into the timeline, the timeline was consumed with nonsense. The volume from the nonsense had so increased, I found myself living the majority of my life from inside my turtle shell. I was turtling more and more as the volume of crazy-making was turned up to a deafening range.  

Now, while my turtle shell is comfortable and protective... and quiet, it is confining and limited, much like a womb - now that I think about it. 

Some five and a half years ago, He saw the effects the circus was having on me. 

I had had enough of the circus and had retreated into my shell; no longer truly living as He intended, no longer willing to risk my hearing from Him on the hopium of a rare pleasant experience. 

In the vision He showed me, He tipped my shell, sending it rolling away from the circus and down an incline, landing in a swift current of water.  It was tossed about, bobbing under the water and then back up, hitting rocks, and going over waterfalls. I was dizzy inside at the sudden external changes I felt all around me, but the shell held firm and secure. 

For two years, I rode the rapids from inside my shell. Then He showed me that the shell had arrived at an estuary.  The inside of my shell became calm and my dizziness abated, but because of the lengthy duration of the ride down the rapids, my shell stayed habitually, comfortably closed.

"Deborah, I have so much to show you; so much to experience with you. You must open your shell and venture out now."

Opening, I find my surroundings are vastly different now.  The ocean's expanse is before me, as the estuary's calm surroundings saurate my ears with quiet peace. I do not recall such a surrounding in the entirety of my life as I have now.  

I hope you'll join me here from time to time as I begin to share my love of learning and writing ...writing and learning... once again; basking in the peace He has led me to - exploring the beauty of my new environment...

...turtling no more!  

Praise Him!