This evening I settled into my chair for a blissful time of reflection.
Life is just amazing. Daily I marvel at the life's blessings.... and life's trials. (You do know a coin is not a coin without BOTH sides, don't you?)
Life is meant to be absorbed, to be breathed, to be tasted.
These days I feel all my senses are in sync with a heightened knowledge I'll never relive any singular moment. It doesn't feel weighty, so much as it feels like a precious, precious gift.
As a family, we have come into such a rich season. I stand back and marvel at who our children have become. It's a gift to be able to say, "I like them... I REALLY like them." These are the harvest years.... and I'm loving every moment!
In my marriage, I have no words. I just know I seem to stay in a constant state of marvel these days at the man God has formed before me. He is a man after God's heart.... and daily he is apprehending that heart. I don't deserve him, I didn't earn him, but man - am I ever thankful for him!
In ministry, I am ever humbled at all the opportunities God grants to me to sow into people's lives truth; uncompromising, life-changing truth. My days demand that I follow His Spirit every step of the way to ensure balance between ministry and family, but He is doing it... He is doing it! And the testimonies I receive fire me on with increased passion. The fruit is both priceless and precious.
Life. Memories. The fabric of our days.
Recently, Beth Moore moved out of her house that she had resided in for decades. Hers is a life lived a bit further down the track from mine, but I can almost picture being "there"..... some point in the future of equal reflection. A holding of the breath. A clear state of awe over the flood of memories of a life lived. But even beyond our singular life comes the flood gate of memories linked to those who God has woven into the tapestry of our life. Some of the "colors" run throughout the tapestry. Other "colors" are dropped into the work here and there for divine purpose. I agree with Beth. The orchestration over each of our lives is positively mind-blowing.
Sometimes I feel like I have lived enough.
Do you ever feel that way?
Like your mind can hardly handle any more memory space? I mean -- I have lived over four decades, given birth four times, been married to the love of my life for nearly twenty years, I am the mom to two teens and a pre-teen.... and that's just the latter two decades. (I know those of you who are older are laughing and probably saying the same thing I tell the younger generation, "Just you wait! There is plenty more to come!")
But really -- how in the world will I feel at the end of another four decades?
Do you ever stop to dream with God about what will be?
I do.
I envision future family holidays, trips, and the day to day living with four of the greatest treasures I'll ever know.
I envision my children's lives unfolding.
I envision laughing, loving, and living life to the fullest with the love of my life.
I envision the wealth of ministry yet to be discovered, the unfolding of God's words over us.
I envision all the faces I have yet to meet.
I envision all the friendships yet to be birthed.
I envision gain.
I envision loss.
I envision.
Life is a precious gift. So often these days it literally catches in my throat.
I never wish to stop time... nor to relive it.... yet I am grateful for it. Time.
But time is just time without God and loved ones. They are the elements of "color" in life's tapestry. Without them, life would be droll and monotone.
Yes, Lord, I am thankful You remind me You have numbered my days and they are precious in Your sight. Even now as I sit in the quiet of the evening and dream with You, I reflect back to years gone by with a "heart smile." Thank You, Lord, for Your unending love and faithfulness, but even beyond these.... thank You that You take the broken and You form masterpieces in the lives of Your children.
I stand in awe of You.
It is good to give thanks to the LORD
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning
And Your faithfulness by night,
With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp,
With resounding music upon the lyre.
For You, O LORD, have made me glad
by what You have done,
I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
Psm 92: 1-4
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning
And Your faithfulness by night,
With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp,
With resounding music upon the lyre.
For You, O LORD, have made me glad
by what You have done,
I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
Psm 92: 1-4
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