I Am Woman

These days I find I am in a season of re-awakening. It has caught me unaware. To say I welcome it is an understatement. Perhaps you'll see why.

Stages in life are peculiar. I have lived through the childhood years, the college years, the young adult years, the married-have-kids-live-in-sweat-pants-hair-pulled-back-break-neck-pace-no-rest-for-the-weary-years......
 can you tell which one is most fresh in my mind?

All stages in life have their bitter and their sweet. I'm not here to share my thoughts on that dynamic.

No.  Passion is on the docket today.

Women are the hub to so many things in life. A woman does not have to be a wife or mother to be sought after for her giftings. Her work, her church, or her extended family will – guaranteed – seek her out for her feminine creativity, her feminine instincts, her feminine insights.....those virtually indescribable dynamics that God mysteriously placed into females.

By and large, most women.....even perhaps through some occasional grumblings (grin) ...thrill at sharing their various giftings however they can.

I have spent the better part of my life “doing for others.”  I don't regret one step...one offering...one sacrifice.  As someone recently said, “Never regrets.” (I like that....I like that a whole lot!)

But, recently, I took myself out to dinner. Alone. While enjoying a quiet dinner with live jazz music in the background, I was engaged unexpectedly by a gentleman. “Want company?”

This has never happened. In. My. Life.  (Probably because I have always had someone with me.)

And before I could hardly get my thoughts together, he sat before me.

Now, before you jump to assess, “How rude.” It wasn't. It's really difficult to explain how tactful he was. Keep in mind, he had no awareness as to my state in life....be it married or not.

I have been complimented by my ability to express myself by a number of people, but during this experience, this charismatic gentleman exceeded anything I have ever witnessed, much less been the center target. He was both confident and transparent, and within minutes, he had my head spinning just trying to absorb what was happening.

Now. Breathe. I will spare you the details, but I did the right thing.

That said, I want to take a moment to address a pivotal lesson God taught me during this engagement.

I have often said to myself, as a necessary mantra, “God is enough.”

Reflecting back, I think to myself just how much I clung to that golden nugget of knowledge through all the years of diaper changing and homeschooling when my tank was not “just about empty”....but EMPTY! 

And most certainly – He did sustain me. The fact that my kids are functional, thriving young adults bears witness to HIS ability to keep this mama moving on down the right track.

But do you know what I heard God whisper to me in the hours after this unexpected engagement?

“I am not enough.”

Now, before you get in a dither....allow me to explain what He went on to explain to me. God made Adam, and for the first time in the creating of His world we call Earth, HE declared it was not good. God decided it was not good for Adam to be alone. Think on that: God assessed that HE was not enough for Adam. Therefore, He made this mysterious beauty whom Adam called Eve..... “of me, but oh-so NOT me.” (Paraphrased, obviously.)

When God was relaying His thoughts to me, this awareness of what Adam experienced upon FIRST seeing Eve hit me. He had no mother figure to subconsciously program his thoughts from infancy on concerning all the wonders of “woman.” He had no sisters to reference. He had no dating books – no relational self-help books – no magazine articles – no TV shows – no tips, pointers, or anything to compare what God brought before him for him.

BOOM, there she was...she rocked his world by simply being.

Husbands, let me take a moment and ask you, do you induce that “boom” moment in your wife's heart when you see her? Wives know if they spark your being by simply being.....or if your view of them is “a dime a dozen.” If you have permitted whatever to reduce the impact your wife is meant to have on your being,  take steps today to both see her anew and let her know she is your one and only Eve. Every female wants to be their Adam's Eve. It's what we, as females, were created for.  Adams, make it your priority to treat your Eve as the irreplaceable, GOD-created gift she truly is! It's an incredible thought that God cared so much for YOU that He created a gift that only He could create that is meant only for you TO complete you! Think on that. Let that FACT sink in and blow the "dime a dozen" lie right back to hell from which it came!

When that gentleman appeared before me, it was by far the oddest thing I have experienced in a long time. It was clear to me that to him no one else was in the room but me. He did not stand back and admire from a distance.  No, he approached to seize.

Here's the thing. He didn't have a reference for me. He didn't know me as Deborah from ______ who is _______years old and been married for _____ years and who has three children who she has raised and taught and launched into the world.

No, I had the experience of not being seen for what I DO.....but simply who I am. 

Woman.

And in that moment, an awakening of something that had been lost in the basement of my being came rushing to the surface. 

I AM WOMAN. 

The passion encompassed in those three power-packed words that had been buried through the years of “doing life”....raising children, balancing home and work, and all that jazz..... came on like an avalanche; a very, very unexpected avalanche.

Perhaps you are a woman similar to me. You find yourself relating to the cold of life, where duty replaced passion at some point along life's track.

I don't beat myself up about it. Remember: NEVER regrets! One does what one must. Laundry has to be done, children have to be fed, etc, etc, etc.

But I am thankful I have a long, long history of following God through thick and thin and very thin, and He sees our deficits no matter how they came to be....and moves to correct those deficits. 

Aren't you thankful He moves?  Oh, how He knows I am!

He wired me to LEARN and GROW.

Every day, I look, assess, learn, and grow. 

I have a bracelet I wear frequently. I spied it one day while out with my daughter.....

It's an excellent reminder to embrace ALL situations without fear  for growth.

Ladies, YOU ARE WOMAN first and foremost, with a God-placed passion in your being simply by being! Hear me on this: don't let your duty and all your “doing” bury your passion as I did if it can be helped! Learn from my experience. It happened subtly over the years. “Life” took over and buried it in the waves of “to dos.”

But..... it's back... basement - no more its dwelling ....

I. AM. WOMAN!