Heavy Heart

I wrote on Facebook recently the following:

"James MacDonald referenced Tozer's failure to love his wife and children in a video I listened to recently. My curiosity awakened, I researched and found the quote he read:

"When she remarried after his (Tozer's) death, she said, 'I have never been happier in my life...Aiden (Tozer) loved Jesus Christ, but Leonard Odam loves me."

What an incredibly raw, honest statement she made.
The quote continued:

"During the 1930s, Tozer read voraciously, and he also developed a magnificent obsession to be in Christ's presence - just to worship Him and to be with Him. Yet he was a man who was emotionally and spiritually distant from his own wife. By early 1928, the Tozers had a routine. Aiden found his fulfillment in reading, preparing sermons, preaching, and weaving travel into his demanding and exiting schedule, while Ada learned to cope. She dutifully washed, ironed, cooked, and cared for the little ones, and developed the art of shoving her pain deep down inside. Most of the time she pretended there was no hurt, but when it erupted, she usually blamed herself for not being godly enough to conquer her longing for intimacy from an emotionally aloof husband."

I'm letting these statements rest on me today. I understand her more than I would choose.  To marry is to commit to love that one, and only that one, as God loves.... fully, transparently, faithfully. And when that is not done, sorrow descends upon the soul.  It is at that point, trust in God to 'exalt in due time' rises to a fever pitch. A woman's heart, given to a man by God Himself, is entrusted by God to man to solely and wholly love and protect as if God Himself were loving and protecting it.  YES, it is that weighty, not to be carelessly nor selfishly entered into."

Last night, a five minute video by Matt Chandler popped up, and this morning, another five minute video popped up. They are certainly worth SOWING the ten minutes into your life, no matter if you are married or single.... male or female.... take the ten minutes!  Let the Holy Spirit then direct you past those ten minutes on to a road specified for you by Him.  Ten minutes is the beginning point.... or should be!

(Scroll over the links to go to the videos.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW5B0OTrWMU 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejjweiF0gTk

My heart is so burdened for particularly wives in this culture.  Weekly, I hear from them.  Their hearts are suffocating.  They so want to walk a walk worthy of God's pleasure and their husband's, but too often their husbands are walking a checked-out, selfish existence.  To singularly pull a plow intend for two is a feat she was never meant to do! 

I had one husband who commented on my Facebook post, "I love Tozer's stuff, but I never knew this about him. As much as I love the Scriptures and teaching them, it must never take the place of the love that I have for my wife and kids. Thanks for sharing."

I commented back, "There are many things that clamor about in this world, seeking to displace a man's affections for his wife and his children. Some are foolishly declared more noble than others, but all of them are wrong. Personal dedication to God should affirm God's ways, not fly in the face of them. I appreciate your heart towards (your wife)! Love her well, as you have, all the days of your life! In that, you honor her.... you honor God!"

The shocking thing to me is that to do as Christ desires is NOT complex.  In my mind, Christ says it, I do it. Period.  What muddies the water is SELF. There are those who say they want to be obedient; they just don't want it to cost them anything. HOW DARE THEY!  YOU cost Christ EVERYTHING!  Let that sink in and resonate a good LONG while!  When feet become set in self, hearts are broken, families are torn apart, destinies are destroyed.

Indeed.... my heart is heavy.