Few Find IT

I am forever digging down deep into my thinking with Jesus.  I am wired as a philosopher by God.  I think.... then I think some more.... and then I think some more, especially in His presence.  

I often picture myself as a little girl, musing constantly with her Father. And often....very often, I see Him smile, as He leads me on a treasure hunt.

This world has been anything but friendly and easy for me, starting with my birth.  I am of the opinion He broke shame off of me in my twenties, which then freed me to look at myself.  Truly look - not in a condemning manner, but an exploratory manner, asking, "What makes me tick? Where do I go off into the weeds? What do I need to repent of?  Be more diligent about?" 

You do know there is a difference between guilt and shame, don't you?  

We are ALL guilty.... daily .... of sin, ergo the absolute need of repentance.  We CHOOSE to walk in shame; the byproduct of guilt if there be no repentance. 

Shame has a way of sticking around way too long --- and the longer it sticks around - the more the brain normalizes it.  But alas, it is an odd, disagreeable, and deadly bedfellow if allowed to stay around.

One parameter, I have found, reveals if shame is apart of one's normalized psyche - and that is how quickly does one repent. 

Every believer in Christ is commanded to walk circumspectly. 

If we aren't taking this charge seriously, we aren't taking our walk seriously.

This morning my musing with Jesus went something like this.

"Few there be that find it.  IT."

Then my mind jumped to how many people are on the planet currently: 8.3 billion.  

Assuming Creation is between 6000 to 10000 years (Biblically) old, that's a lot of people in the course of history that presumably didn't find IT.  

The assumption by many is that they are among the few.  

Ironic, don't you think?

So, I sat with Him in silence. 

"Am I among the few, Lord?"

Life is found IN Him.

We are told anything .....ANYTHING... apart from Him is.....meaningless.

That's a horse pill to swallow, IF honestly surveyed, don't you think?

[Pause for a moment.  Be brave. Think about your days.  Are you abiding in the Vine? Your actions? Your thoughts? Is cohabitation possible, particularly long term?  Meaning - if a believer isn't actively surveying their mind for "viruses", shame, sin, etc - and repenting....turning from these things in humility....can one abide in the Vine?]

Then I leaped to a memory.

Eighth grade.  I was chosen to sing the solo in Annie: Tomorrow. 

I felt the treasure hunt begin with Him.  I'll share in short.

Between Hollywood and Disney, most Americans have been thoroughly programmed with thoughts of "the sun will come out tomorrow" -  "a knight will arrive and save the day" - "Cinderella will meet her prince" - etc.

If Jesus is the Vine, and I abide in Him, what are such lines of thought but viruses in the brain??

Living in America, such thinking is commonplace, but leads to - at minimum - a feeling of hollowness, and at maximum ....death.  

In the last decade, God has schooled me on the difference between hopium and hope.  The former is linked to fleshly desires - and the latter is linked to the Vine.  

There is chatter among Christians that the spirit of Babylon is on the rise in America.

I believe this is an accurate statement.  

If our cares circle more around our comforts, our next amusement, our next sunny tomorrow, aren't we missing IT?

Few there are that find IT.

Seek and you find will. 

Be careful .....very careful.... that you are not among the many who think they are among of the few.

These days humility is my life partner.  

As more years tick off, the more I dig into my thinking with my Creator. 

There is no shame - only reprogramming after extracting virus after virus throughout the decades now - that came into my way of thinking as a child, before I was ever taught to gatekeep my thoughts. (Refer back to Hollywood and especially Disney as a child! Mercy -- talk about mental viruses afoot!)   (This includes all of mankind, by the way; even the best of childhoods need a through going over!) 

Live long enough and your hard drive stands more than a reasonable chance of getting deeply infected with thinking that is far more inline with Babylon than God's Kingdom.  It's a fact of living in this fallen world, and one of numerous reasons we are instructed to be diligent. 

In truth, it's freeing to sit with God and have Him root out software that shouldn't be there.  To dig down deep into the meat of what defines abiding in the Vine.... to what truly gives life depth and purpose... it is a lifelong treasure hunt worth the taking.   

Want to discover IT for yourself?  A good starting point is the discipline of simply sitting in silence - no phone... no company.... just you and God.  

It's a discipline worth carving out.  It's been a habit of mine for decades.  At first, it seemed the noise in my head would not cease, but in time, it did -- and His voice replaced it.... a whisper too often drowned out by Babylon's spirit and the cares of this world.

Dare to sit with Him.  Some of my richest reprogramming was carved out during these times with Him.

A word of warning: self deception is thriving today. Many Christians roll through their days and weeks without a single awareness of the many mental viruses running in their subconsciousness and thus controlling their actions. 

Don't be among them.  

As a man thinks ..... so is he.

"SEEK.... and you will find."  There are no shortcuts.  If there is one relationship worthy of all your time, it is the relationship with your Creator.  Honest, raw, life-giving, life-changing.   🕊

Is Love Transactional?

I have been reflecting on the concept of love being transactional lately for two reasons: Easter and my recent article in January on reciprocity, which provoked someone stating, "That sounds like you're making love transactional." 

The model is The Cross of Yeshua, which was and remains transactional for all of time.  A Holy Sacrifice of His life for my life.  The ultimate expression of love. 

Now, take a giant leap from the ultimate God-expressed love to mortal human love. 

I know; it's a painful leap, but it must be explored to have any hope of being lived out in a healthy way.

Have you ever noticed that those who demand more are often the ones who give the least?  I'm not minimizing their feeble attempts to show up. I'm simply no longer willing to maximize them either.

I have come to the irrevocable conclusion -- or better put, the affirmation of God's Word - that HOW we show up in human relationships is *solely* a heart issue.

Carnal people fall into two primary categories: givers and takers. 

I was a natural carnal giver.  I was determined to impact people by giving.... and giving... and giving .....even when I was tapped out to fumes.  I bought into the lie that I could love people into loving me as I desired to be loved through giving.... giving time, resources, giftings, knowledge, care - whatever --- if I had it, I often and without hesitation offered it.

Givers and takers attract one another in the carnal world.  The world calls this codependency.  It is unhealthy and destructive.  It ingrains burnout in the givers and entitlement in the takers.

I had to take a hard look at my own heart with Jesus.  

I saw the error in my ways.  

God is the one who created boundaries and limitations.  We see it first in the Creation narrative.  He set boundaries on the oceans, boundaries on the atmosphere, boundaries on the sea creatures, boundaries on the land animals.  Boundaries all about and all around.  

For decades, I taught my kids, "Boundaries are protection, not punishment," while I foolishly did not apply that to my own relationships. I readily accepted God's boundaries and personal corrections in the vertical scope between Him and me, but I failed to apply them to my human horizontal relationships.

The overreaching lie of give more, try harder had to be acknowledged before God as being deeply rooted before I could be liberated from its grip.

I have spent the most recent years recalibrating the rules of engagement.  

I no longer accept the taking without giving.   

It was a deep pruning, but a necessary one to give space for healthy relationships. I want to do life with givers, but true givers  - not carnal ones. 

True givers are those who have had their eyes opened to God's ways, abiding by boundaries He has established: regarding others as we desire to be regarded (Him included! Hello?!)....loving others as we have learned to love ourselves, which means with self-respect and an understanding of our value as a daughter or son of the Most High.  

The reality is people treat me the way I teach them to treat me.

If the bar is low, carnal people will give little and take a lot.

If the bar is high, carnal people likely won't even try.

But redeemed brothers and sisters, who have a heart to please the Father, will give in-kind; meaning, they will seek to reciprocate the building up of one another in the most holy of ways.

Is love transactional?  Absolutely. 

In simple terms, if you try to withdraw more than you deposit into a bank, you are cut off. 

If you are like I was -  a carnal giver who gave "credit" out to people, some of those loans might be to subprime borrowers (aka: highly unlikely to repay). The net effect in these situations is dual emotional bankruptcy.  

The Bible is very clear about credit.  You take it or give it, risking your own peril. 

I have come to see the wisdom of being cautious concerning emotional credit which always, unavoidably involves degrees of love. 

Your emotional credit should be guarded and used very sparingly. 

In the financial world, most people see the wisdom of having a high deposit balance with no debt, yet so easily abandon this principle when it comes to love and matters of the heart.  

Don't be among them.

Walk in wisdom.

Be quick to apply boundaries so as to avoid emotional debt.

Peace. 🤍

In a Clamoring World

 In a clamoring world, I praise God that He is my fortress.  

My life and all that it is is because of Him. I know this full well and rejoice in its truth!

As the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 46:

"God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble. 

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall,

God will help her at the break of day.

Nations are in an uproar, kingdoms fall;

He lifts His voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done,

the desolations He has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease 

to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

He burns the shield with fire.

He says, "Be still, and know that I AM God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob IS our fortress.

I pray you know Him as YOUR fortress.

Peace to you. 🤍

 

The Gift of Solitude

It's a rainy foggy Sunday morning, and instead of hustling to get out the door to church, I feel a beckoning to stay put.  

I meander into the kitchen.  Turning on the Keurig, I await the precious minute until my coffee, complete with froth, is ready.  I walk back to my bedroom, where my two sweet pups, Nina and Anya, sitting atop my bed, await my return.  They know that, upon my return, they each will get two fingertips of froth.  After plumping my pillows and sitting up in bed with covers comfortably drawn back up around me, I take my first sip, and exhale deeply.  

Silence.

Many people run from silence, but for me, it is a pathway to desired solitude; a haven of Divine making.

For decades, I lived in the hustle and bustle of raising children. My only solitude was found in the early morning predawn hours. I would roll out of  bed while it was still dark, scurry downstairs before anyone else woke up and have my quiet time with God. It was my daily anchor then just as it remains so today, but today, I can linger in that haven as long as I want to with Him.

These days I find my life exceptionally rich in silence, and as a result, my thought life has grown exceptionally calm. It's been a two year process of recalibrating, and at first, I literally felt an internal resistance to the process. I knew how to be a multi-tasking "Martha", and while I enjoyed my intentional moments of "Mary", if I lingered too long, I felt a tinge of guilt. 

Why was this?   

Recently I read a study about fascia.  (I am a lifelong student. I simply love reading and learning.)  In short, what they are learning is that fascia is fluid, and it responds to sound waves it picks up in the atmosphere of our environment.  The body "reads the room", using fascia, and in turn instructs the brain to release appropriate hormones, that then instruct cellular response - be it cellular healing, demand, or degradation.  

If the environment is chronically tense, protective stress hormones (aka survival hormones such as cortisol) are released by the brain.  If the environment is full of fun and laughter, hormones such as dopamine or serotonin, for example are released. As we age, if we have lived in an environment of chronic stress and tension, the fascia stiffens, creating a cascade of health issues.

I marveled when I read the study.  The body is an absolute masterpiece of God's making. 

Isaiah 32:18 states, "My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places."

Silence and solitude allow the body to heal and stay strong and healthy by turning down the room signals, or better stated, the room noise. The brain reads the peace and releases the signal that all is well, and can then go about healing at a cellular level.  

We hear much about stress management, yet how many, when given the opportunity to sit in silence, turn music on or turn the TV on or call someone on the phone?  

I recently had a conversation with someone about their adult child, who they observed always had earbuds in, listening to something.  They actually said their adult child was distressed by silence.  I simply said, "It's because they have trained their brain that way, so they must work to retrain it."  

If they don't, they will have numerous physical challenges as they become older.  The body requires silence to heal and that silence isn't only to be during times of sleep. 

I hope you all don't fall into the category of running from silence.  Consider sitting in silence intentionally.  At first, you may very well find your thoughts racing, but in time, they will calm.

Internal peace with God is indeed priceless, but when external and internal peace align, its value cannot be overstated. God instructs His people to seek out peaceful habitations for a reason!

Make friends with silence, and you too will discover it is a pathway to solitude; a Divine haven unlike any other. 🤍

The Boundary of Reciprocity

For decades, I lived my life with what I now would say was a naive assumption: that most people live by the Golden Rule of "do unto others as you would have done unto you." 

They don't.

A large percentage of the human population lives first for self without much, if any, thought for their common man.

I look around -- all around -- at the brokenness of civilizations.  Simply put civilizations are no longer civil.  It's an "every man for himself" mentality that we bump up against every day, and we have the rash marks to prove it.

For me, I have drawn a line in the sand in recent years, and revisit the boundary periodically to make sure it is still visible to myself and others. 

After years of giving, when it defied logic to keep doing so, I developed a boundary of reciprocity in my life. This means that if a relationship does not actively seek to give back, I will stop sowing in that field.

It's common sense and natural law, if you think about it. 

A wise farmer will not continue to plant seeds in a field that does not yield a healthy harvest. 

We should all take a lesson from this.  

And as an important caveat here, ONLY God can heal the field; both ours as well as theirs. Each person is responsible for their own condition - whether they surrender to God and let Him do the "soil work" - or keep possessing the field in its sin degraded state.

The Bible speaks of sowing and reaping.  It is important that we walk with wisdom and let consequences/reaping of poor sowing be what it is.  Too many, while good intentioned, use their own strengths to absorb the poor behaviors of others, buffering the true results of poor soil. 

Did Jesus do this? Was such acceptance and absorption the model He presented?  No, it was not.

I have learned that loving does not mean self-sacrifice. Love - true, pure Love - builds up ONE ANOTHER. It seeks to encourage the best, even as the other reciprocates seeking to encourage the best.  It does NOT seek to take and take without end.  

So, today - I charge YOU with drawing your own boundary of reciprocity in your relationships. You will be the healthier for it..... and ultimately, so will your neighbors. 

And if you are someone who primarily lives for self, to take from others without giving back, check yourself - aspire to shift by wholly surrendering to God.... not in-part.... but the whole of you. 

To be of God means you are a giver; not a chronic taker. That's the plumbline. You either are or you are not.  Choose wisely, because God will not be mocked.....He too has boundaries. 

Home Is Not Where The Familiar Is

I walked outside for the first time this new year, and immediately I was hit with this thought, "Home is where the familiar is."  

It's a lie, but it doesn't sound like one to many who hear it.

We all want what the word home invokes; comfort, the familiar, an exhale of the soul, but where are we looking?

Audibly I spoke out loud, "That thought is a lie.  Home is where You are, and where You are is rarely familiar or known, but rather discovered progressively." 

To walk with God, one becomes very accustomed to discovering life in "real time." 

For the Christian, we have a personalized Guide who has promised to never leave us, but many elect to walk away from Him for the familiarity of past knowns, even if those are unhealthy.

We love our comforts; don't we?  The familiar foods, the familiar TV shows, the familiar bed, the familiar routines..... the familiar.

What we don't seem to take seriously is that we are our own enemy.  You can't change your life apart from Him because your brain will absolutely keep you looped --- chained -- to the familiar.   

He meets us at our point of desperation to set the captive free.  

The question then becomes how desperate are you for LIFE and liberty over the (chains of the) familiar?

When we adhere to the familiar over the call of God, we, by default, forfeit what He has for us.  

He couldn't give the Israelites their promised land, until they answered the call to leave the familiar.

They could have stayed in Egypt.  

And you, too, can stay right where you are in 2026. 

Permit me to ask: as you begin your brand new year, what is God calling you to?  I can guarantee you it will not be the familiar.  If answered, it will stretch you beyond where you thought your limits were.  But I also guarantee you that if you answer His call, you will not end your 2026 the same as you are beginning it.

Simply put, home is NOT a feeling; it is a real time relationship with the One who created you....a surrendered, obedient, unfamiliar, stretching, yet profoundly adventurous and life-changing relationship with Home personified.  

As a Christian, we have been trained to think of Home as Heaven - a destination.  But if we dare to change the mental script to Him as Home - it best fits our enteral path we ARE actively traversing with Him in the now, IF we elect to do so.

What are you waiting for?  Discover Home this year.  🤍

God's Drawing

With coffee mug in hand, I sat down upon the same spot I have sat down upon for over nine hundred mornings thus far since relocating. 

I crave this spot first thing in the morning, but this morning was different. The craving was intensely flipped. God was waiting for me.

The gift of being pursued.

In the Christian faith, much emphasis is placed upon the believer to pursue God.  To set apart time to study His Word.  To seek His counsel.  And while those are crucial disciples of the faith, the reality is HE first pursued us. THAT was the beginning. 

Paul even wrote a warning in Galatians to us:  Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?

Pure love is not earned, and it certainly is not kept by our doing.  As a matter of fact, the reality that Pure Love is gifted unmerited is what sets it drastically apart. 

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19

When you abide in His pursuit as the object of His affection, ones entire world not only looks different; it IS different.

Recently I was conversing with someone about knowing  - leaning into - the character of God. If we focus on that filter, ALL doubts dissipate.  

It no longer is about our worthiness drawing His affection, His care, or His presence.

As God said to Moses: I am who I am.

He shows up.  

He heals us.  

He leads us out of wildernesses. 

He leads us to green pastures and quiet waters.

Why?

Because He loves us.

No strings attached.

No hoops to jump through.

It's not about performance.

It's about heart posture.

First, His towards us.

Then, ours towards Him.

Once love abounds, the concept of Jesus being Lord of my life is both natural and right.

The created finds safety in His Lordship, not restriction.

His ways are protection, not punishment.

John 10:9 reads: I am the gate; whoever enters through Me will be saved. They will come in and out, and find pasture. 

No fear. 

No doubt.

No worry. 

Only assurance.

Only safety.

Only provision.

I trust you know His pursuit, but if you don't, consider His invitation:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door; I WILL come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 

Revelation 3:20

This Christmas season I pray you answer the knock at your own heart's door.  

He came to this earth to seek and save those who are lost, wandering around hopeless - wondering, "What is the point to any of this?"

He's waiting for you.... will you answer His knock?  

I pray you do.....

Merry Christmas, all!  🤍

Tension

As I sat with the Lord recently, I became keenly aware that my upper body was holding tension for no reason other than habit. 

It was subtle, and if I was not sitting in stillness, I likely would not have been aware of it in the slightest. I breathed deeply while instructing my body to release and let go. Immediately, the tension left. 

I have been in a season of intentionally rewiring my mind. A few years ago, my physical circumstances shifted out of chronic, daily chaos into peace; thus God's fulfillment of a word He gave to me years ago: "Then My people will dwell in a peaceful place, in safe and secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." (Isa 32:18)  

It's been a lengthy process of regaining my physical strength, and an even lengthier process retraining my mind. Though longer than I would have imagined, the journey has been an exceedingly rewarding one. 

The present -- today -- holds the tension of space between the past and the future.  

Depending on life's circumstances, that space can be fluid and relaxed, tight and tense, and everything in between.  Much like I directed my body to release and let go, we do hold the power to do likewise over today, no matter our yesteryears. 

Will we let the tight and tense rob us of today's joy and ease?  

Or will we let the fluid and relaxed rob us of today's stewardship?  

You see, the tension of today isn't a negative unto itself.  It is simply a space holder, much like a tightrope between two points.  It's a matter of perspective, followed up by proper action.

How often do we listen to our thoughts that talk us into a sense of neutrality; where neither joy is experienced nor stewardship is achieved?   

Some are convinced that life's circumstances are less than ideal, unfair even, so they self-soothe with victimology.

Others play their days away because they have been convinced in their minds stewardship is too exhausting, so why bother.  

But neither is truth.  These are mental scripts we haven't properly weighed, sorted, and discarded as the lies they are.

The truth is we have a mighty God who has our days held in His hands; who is shaping, creating, redeeming, and enabling our life to greater and greater victories in Him and through Him IF we walk with Him, obeying His instructions.

I was reminded of Naomi from the Book of Ruth - who grieved loss - and yet, in time, God replaced her grief with great joy. She's one of many examples of God's ability to shape our faith and our victories through trying circumstances if we don't relent. 

Be mindful of today's tension, and its quality. 

Remember, we do not always possess the ability to control circumstances, but we always have the ability to control how we respond.  

Will we reign over life's circumstances through our faith in our sovereign God -- or will be allow them to reign over us, spinning our thoughts, moods, and emotions off our intended path and into the weeds?  

I encourage you to consciously celebrate today - not because of feelings nor circumstances - but because God reigns.  He sees you, He cares, and He longs to hold today's tension, redeem yesterday, and create a joy-filled tomorrow!  The question is will you walk with Him and see greater and greater victories come.... or will you succumb to a false narrative?  

Word of warning: Neutrality doesn't actually exist.  It's an illusion.  You are either progressing or regressing.

Remember, as a man THINKS, so is he.  (Prov 23:7) 

Peace 🤍

The Gift of Triage, Healing, and Recovery!

 We all know individuals who stubbornly hold onto unhealthy patterns.  The thing about those unhealthy patterns is not only do they negatively impact the individual holding to the patterns, but they also negatively impact those around them.  

While God's love is unlimited, His grace is limited, as we discover by reading Romans.  In a unique dynamic of Love, we learn that He will turn people over to their persistent, unhealthy patterns (ie their gods).

Arguably the greatest move of Love is free-will.  

YOU get to choose the life you live; likewise, so do those around you.  

I have spent the past year in triage, healing, and recovery from the results of decisions people close to me had every right to make.  

But, again, likewise, I had the choice to detach from them or continue my close walk alongside the unhealthy patterns of others.

Every day, people self destruct.  Addictions, debt, pride, fear  - to name a few destructive patterns - cripple so much of the population.  Christians and non-Christians alike. Surely, you know that transformation is a completely separate process than salvation.  Both processes are choices we make.  We can align with one or both or neither.  The decisions we make concerning both are entirely ours to make.  

While you cannot control the decisions of those around you, you can  - and greater still - are expected to control yours and choose wisely. 

I have said this time and again:  wise stewardship starts with you; monitoring your thoughts and behaviors minute by minute towards those that are honoring and pleasing to God. 

Let's carefully read God's words in Deuteronomy 30, as if we were reading them for the first time:

"See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.  IF you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in HIS ways, and by keeping HIS commandments and HIS statutes and HIS rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it.  BUT if your heart turns away, and you elect to not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods (appetites/drives)  and serve them, I declare to you , that you WILL perish.  You WILL NOT live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess.  I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  THEREFORE, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding FAST to Him, for He is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."

How many parents reading this desperately want their children following God, yet they themselves serve their flesh daily?  Remember, while people are responsible for their own lives, our individual choices and their impact do not occur in a bubble. They have their impact on those around us for the good or the bad.  Today's lingo is "influencers".  The truth is we are ALL influencers to those around us, whether we want to be or not!  Our actions affect those around us. Whether they are a positive or negative influence depends on if we are actively choosing what brings life or death into our individual life.   Understand this clearly: You will NOT have a positive impact on others while making negative personal choices.  

At the core to the passage above is God's LOVE for His creation.  Who do we think we are to think we know best?  Does a toddler know what is best?  Of course not.  This is why Paul edified us to GROW UP.  A mature adult chooses what is healthy over what is not.  They put away their foolish desires for taking up what will enhance their life, and an additional by-product - enhance the lives of those around them!

Learn this core precept:  

God's desires for you come from a place of love, 

not restriction!  

If you are diligent to nurture this mental script daily, it will change your daily choices, and thus your life's outcome!

Praising Him for enveloping my life;  for His wisdom, for His leadership, for His healing!

Godspeed! 🤍

The Gift of God's Thumb

I awoke to a New Year.....2025, what will it bring my way?   

I sat with the Lord in the early morning hours and soon began sensing His thumb. 

One of my personal goals was to not bring the past into 2025.  Let me be more specific; it was to not bring the negatives from the past into 2025. 

It was an honorable goal before the Lord. As a matter of fact, this was my petition before the Lord for the entire month of December.  

It wasn't long sitting with the Lord before I realized what He was highlighting in me that aligned with this personal goal: cynicism.   

Cynicism is the propensity to distrust others and their motives. 

If the past three decades trained me in anything, it's this. 

But cynicism is a cancer in the soul.  It eats away at true faith, true hope. And it is terrifyingly subtle. 

To distrust is to inherently dislike, and if we are not careful, we will find the object of our dislike to be humanity itself; the very object that Christ came to seek and save.  

How can we walk in union with Him if we dislike what He loved unto death?  

Now, be careful here so as to not misunderstand me. I am not encouraging anyone to stay in close proximity to damaging individuals, but the caution comes when we overlay the negative experiences of one relationship upon all relationships. It is a natural tendency that must be countered in God's power and with His wisdom.  

If we are not careful, our negative experiences subtly replace our trust in God FOR life's experiential knowledge. I don't know about you, but I never want to abide in the space where life's experiences have superseded my trust in my Creator such that I lean more into them than Him!

I sat with Him, realizing the blessing of His thumb. What He applies His thumb to in our life, He heals IF we confess, acknowledge, and release into His hands, our Healer's hands.  

I acknowledged the truth of what He was pointing out, and I found myself with such overwhelming gratitude concerning the awareness that He was intent on removing cynicism from my life.  It will be a walking out of, to be certain; a decision to not be immediately suspicious of people's motives. Understand, I cannot say I trust Him, while at the same time, guarding my heart and being all but misanthropic.  

This is all apart of His command to "turtle no more", (linked here) to be restored as a fully functioning believer who is planted upon a solid, non-contradicting foundation.  

I have to acknowledge my past had led to a foundation with cracks in it; where action didn't always align with belief nor belief with action. I don't want that to be the case moving forward.   In fact, it can't be the case moving forward if I am to walk in all that God has stored up for me.  

God's thumb is indeed a gift because with it comes healing to my fractured soul and greater freedom in His spirit.  

May you, too, sit with Him. What area of your own life do you sense Him putting His thumb on? 

Resist bristling to the conviction, and understand liberation is a mere breath away in the utterance of two simple, yet powerful words: Yes, Lord.

Godspeed! 🤍

Turtling No More

Through the years, I have had this saying, "I'm turtling." 

Those two words were understood by my closest affiliations to mean, "I need to detach from my circumstances and curl up with God for a time."  

For whatever the reason, the "noise of life" had been turned up to the point where I felt retreat into my inner sanctum was my only choice.  My instincts ratcheted up to that of survival and that meant retreat....for a time.  

Well, simply put, 'for a time' turned into years.  

As has been my practice for decades, I reserve the time between Christmas and New Year's to consecrate myself to God afresh and lean into what He shares about the closing year and the new year beginning.  In raising three children, that dedicated week was both a nonnegotiable and a gift. 

Now that they are grown and married, I have expanded that week to the month of December.  

This morning, as I sat with the Lord, I heard Him speak to my spirit, "Turtle no more." 

He went on to share.  

You see, the past three decades of life had become more like a three ringed circus.  While there had been a few blessed experiences dotted into the timeline, the timeline was consumed with nonsense. The volume from the nonsense had so increased, I found myself living the majority of my life from inside my turtle shell. I was turtling more and more as the volume of crazy-making was turned up to a deafening range.  

Now, while my turtle shell is comfortable and protective... and quiet, it is confining and limited, much like a womb - now that I think about it. 

Some five and a half years ago, He saw the effects the circus was having on me. 

I had had enough of the circus and had retreated into my shell; no longer truly living as He intended, no longer willing to risk my hearing from Him on the hopium of a rare pleasant experience. 

In the vision He showed me, He tipped my shell, sending it rolling away from the circus and down an incline, landing in a swift current of water.  It was tossed about, bobbing under the water and then back up, hitting rocks, and going over waterfalls. I was dizzy inside at the sudden external changes I felt all around me, but the shell held firm and secure. 

For two years, I rode the rapids from inside my shell. Then He showed me that the shell had arrived at an estuary.  The inside of my shell became calm and my dizziness abated, but because of the lengthy duration of the ride down the rapids, my shell stayed habitually, comfortably closed.

"Deborah, I have so much to show you; so much to experience with you. You must open your shell and venture out now."

Opening, I find my surroundings are vastly different now.  The ocean's expanse is before me, as the estuary's calm surroundings saurate my ears with quiet peace. I do not recall such a surrounding in the entirety of my life as I have now.  

I hope you'll join me here from time to time as I begin to share my love of learning and writing ...writing and learning... once again; basking in the peace He has led me to - exploring the beauty of my new environment...

...turtling no more!  

Praise Him!

Death Did Come...

 ... though for me, I know not precisely when.  

I awoke this morning, thinking about the piano.  

The piano, of all things.  

As I laid in bed, I felt God leading me back to what truly seems like another lifetime.  My mind thought, "This is nonsense."  But my spirit wanted to take the journey, so journey we did.

I could see myself back in time, sitting at the piano as a young girl, playing and singing my heart out. In my lifetime, I have had three people, who I can recall, who encouraged my musical talent. My mother, an all-encompassing stalwart of support through the years.  A church youth leader who said my voice was more beautiful than that of a song bird. (It's not, but it's striking to me how I am able to recall his exact phrase now forty years later.)  And lastly, my eighth grade chorus instructor, who said I had pipes to fill an auditorium.   

What happened to that girl?

Too much to recount here, but the most persistent wearing agent: marriage.

As morbid as it sounds, I am understanding more and more that the day I married, I began to die. 

I'm not referencing the carnal death the Word encourages, but my soul's death.  

I know I am not an isolated occurrence, but I have fought more than a day's worth of thoughts, such as "Shouldn't we have been different? Didn't we know better?  Didn't we both know we had to sow into one another?  Isn't that why we married in the first place, to become everything in Christ He intended us to be?" 

I thought so. I hoped so. 

Nevertheless, deliberate destructive patterns were upheld, even defended.  I permitted myself to become all but forgotten. I'm not speaking of values, focus, or resolve. I'm speaking of the essence of me. Dreams and unfiltered emotions were exchanged for methods of survival from what seemed to be constant conflict and disregard.  

A bitter fact of life: choices are, by and large, understood through the lens of retrospection. 

Someone once said, "It's easy to mistake sorrow for despair. It's not. Authentic hope is found in sorrow, not by avoiding it." 

I agree. I spent years, decades in fact, with despair being my bedfellow, but now I spend my days making emotional space for sorrow, and I am finding personal hope again; rediscovering my essence as God leads me down a path to collect the discarded, forsaken, forgotten pieces of me. 

It's amazing what space is discovered when one gets off another's loop. 

I'm looking forward to making friends with me again. I have apologized to her for neglecting, and at times, all out ignoring, her cries for help, for acknowledgement, for nurture, for acceptance, for love ...for looking to my marriage to give that which it elected not to give. 

Religion is a monster.  It keeps wives discounted and marginalized with erroneous theology "for the sake of another."  The enemy is a pro at using Scripture to keep the well-intentioned spouse in man-made shackles. 

My freedom came when I heard Jesus whisper, "Deborah, I am not asking you to die for this when I already did."  Even now, tears well up at such profound Love as He.  

He is God. I am not. Yet, I matter.   

I matter.

Where religion held captive, relationship in Him set free.

He woke me recently, "Deborah, I want you completely unfettered."

I knew not then to the measure I know now, and greater still tomorrow, just how much my being craves this. 

We thrash about in shackles too numerous to fully identify, from the confines of religion to those of willful sin, when He deeply desires to set us free....FREE.

Through the years I have sat with Him and asked, "How do YOU take it day after day?  The betrayal, the idolatry, the wounding?"  

Though He has never answered me, I have seen Him smile that gentle smile of His, filled with compassion and understanding.  

He gets it because: "He was (is) despised and rejected, a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned (turn) our backs on Him and looked (look) the other way. He was (is) despised and we did not (do not) care."  (Isa 53:3)

I'll never know why we persist on destructive paths of indifference, even as shackles rip at our being.

Death did come...

....so too, His resurrection... 

.................and because of His, I have the hope of mine.  🤍

"Hope Maketh Not Ashamed”

Today, many will celebrate.

Today, many will grieve.

I never cease to be amazed at the human spirit's propensity to love, break, yet love again.

Thoreau wrote, “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

Indeed both Love and love, that which is both true and pure, being derived from Love, are mysteries that leave us breathless; capitulation to what we know and what we think we know, what we feel and what we think we feel, and between it all, there abides this deep sense, a resonating awareness, we hardly know anything at all about either.

I will not belabor this post with unrequired length, yet simply say my heart and my purpose this morning is to encourage every heart, whether it be elated or downcast.

Take the time to read Jeremiah 31. (Found here)

Let it be a love letter from God Himself to His people.

If you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, it is to you. If you do not know Him as such, may the words stir in you, drawing you ever closer to the only One who can satisfy so completely the longing of the heart, putting both soul and mind to rest.

“...hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us...” Romans 5:5

May Love find you, hold you, heal you, and fill you today. 🤍

Is God Your Alpha and Omega?

I have two scenarios I would like to share with you:

Scenario One:

“Johnny, stop antagonizing your brother!”

In scenario one, what is your very first thought?

What is your frame of reference; your perspective?

Is Johnny, in your mind, automatically guilty of doing what he is accused of doing?

Was he, in your mind when you read that simple statement, antagonizing the brother?

Was he asking for it?

Or maybe in your scenario Johnny was minding his own business, and the brother, wanting Johnny's attention, smacked him or pinched him or whacked his glasses off his nose. Johnny hollered out against the injustice, but caught both the corrective attention and the flack.

Clearly we have a ruckus going on that has garnered parental correction.

Two kids, one stimulus (the 'whatever' that sparked the disagreement), two opposing reactions.

Again: perspective.

Recognize that disagreements innately have differing perspectives.

The point is not to “die on a molehill," trying to sell my perspective to you in a disagreement, nor you to me.  

If I attempt such foolery, I will not succeed because the fact is two people cannot wear the exact same pair of glasses at the same time. In addition, even the slightest differences in the glasses (backgrounds, beliefs, wills, desires, opinions) yield different perspectives. So whatever transpired to spark the disagreement innately has two different pairs of glasses that prevent ever fully seeing eye to eye.

Regardless of who started the disagreement, chances are unless Johnny works to see why his brother did 'whatever,' he will see his brother as “the cause.” Likewise, the brother, unless he works to see why Johnny did 'whatever' he did, will see Johnny as “the cause.”

Enter the parent, who hopefully, will coach BOTH brothers to inspect where they, as individuals, strayed from the preservation of unity within the family, while not permitting nor accepting the infamous words of “Yeah, but he made me do (fill in the blank)!”

None of us are going to progress towards Christ-likeness (the goal) until we stop the bickering and the accusations, and listen to our Father, who will no doubt put HIS finger upon the SIN issues in BOTH offenders who are train-wrecking Body unity.

No one needs to know the exact details of the rift between Johnny and his brother to understand both wills were exalted to an unhealthy level where injustice finally cried out. 

And if you are a parent, you know the fact is you will NEVER know exactly the path that lead to your parental intervention, even if you ask a thousand questions because Johnny and his brother are both fallible and fixed in their perspectives.

BUT GOD.

Those two words change everything..... if we let them.

Scenario Two:

Two dogs are sitting at a glass front door. One begins to crazy bark. One silently sits. You get up to see what's going on. A passerby is walking down the sidewalk.

Clearly we have a ruckus going on that has garnered parental correction.

Two dogs, one stimulus, two different reactions.

(Oh, let me mention the crazy barker is eight months old, and the silent observer is twelve years old with both hearing and sight still fully intact.)

Maturity.

What's going on at the front door is a revelation concerning maturity. The older dog has learned a few things in his years. He's learned self-control. He's had his mind and his body trained to not respond to every stimulus that passes by. He's learned, by and large, to live and let live. If it isn't coming at him as a direct threat, he's content to enjoy the world around him for what it is. He's learned to rest in his master's leadership and correction. He's an enjoyable soul to be around. He exhibits safety, smarts, and composure.

Now, everyone loves a puppy. But we all know puppies must be trained, corrected, and encouraged towards change, towards maturity. We want them to be housebroken as soon as possible. We want them to learn to chew on what's theirs and only what is theirs. And while we correct behavior, what we really are after is internal composure.

External composure indicates internal composure, otherwise known as self-control.

Likewise, external mayhem indicates internal mayhem.

Ever see an untrained adult dog? They remain like that puppy at the door long after puppy hood departs.... still reacting to every stimulus that passes by. They are unruly on walks and generally put off an air of being unsafe. You just never know what you're going to receive from them: a lick or a bite.

We ALL have a responsibility within the Body of Christ to grow in self control; to NOT be the permanent “adult” puppy who runs around self-centeredly, crashing into the world around them, with destructive tendencies, possessing the ability to lay a hurtin' on anyone who appears to be a threat.

Understanding that no one else is responsible for our individual behavior and sin choices is the first step towards sanctification in Christ. 

Simply put, own your life.

No one, BUT YOU,  is responsible for your walk, your choices, your behavior, your sin, your moods, your internal composure. 

Finger-pointing and projecting did not work in the Garden nor at any other point in history since; it does not work now.

We, individually, are responsible for our own choices, our own actions, which are anchored in either a pure heart bent towards God or an evil heart opposing God. Period.

That said, actions do bear consequences - inescapable consequences - that for the maturing Christian registers and usually halts unwise action. But for the eternal puppies, the ones who simply refuse correction towards change and growth, well, life deals to them degrees of pain, and unfortunately Body pain – because no sin is confined to a bubble.

Ever see an old dog being harassed by a puppy? I have. Actually this second scenario is real, from inside my home currently. When our puppy bounces around, over, and under our twelve year old dog, the twelve year old, if not in the mood to play, will find me - puppy actively nipping at his heels all the way to me - and will give me the hard eye with a nonverbal stare of “Do something!” He knows me to be alpha. He knows I will intervene. He is at rest in my leadership.

Disagreements are a part of the human condition.

Simply put: they are going to happen.

BUT GOD.

Differing perspectives are a part of the human condition.

Simply put: they are a given.

BUT GOD.

Differing degrees of maturity are a part of the human condition.

Simply put: they are going to exist. 

BUT GOD.

When the two individuals, who disagree, having differing perspectives, BOTH take the disagreement into the presence of The Alpha, Omega comes. (The End.... of disagreement, disunity, disharmony, immaturity.)

Understand, in His presence, there is NO alternative.

He is the embodiment of unity.

He is the embodiment of reconciliation.

We all must ask ourselves:

1) "How important is my perspective?" Worth disunity?  Will your behavior garner His correction?

2) "Am I conducting myself in such a manner as to display maturity, regard, and  safety; or immaturity, disregard, and harm?"  Will your behavior garner His correction?

Ultimately, we are not after behavior modification, but a heart shift; and that ONLY comes from abiding in His presence. Again, He doesn't just promote unity.... He IS unity; he doesn't just promote reconciliation...He IS reconciliation.   He IS to be our very personal, very intimate Alpha who is also our very personal, very intimate Omega!

I hope these two scenarios provoke deep reflection concerning your own walk. Let there be a walk of deep introspection as you weigh what I have shared here. Ask the Lord for understanding that extends beyond your own to that of HIS!

Certainly no one is suggesting sin nor immaturity be glossed over or excused, but we are not to stoop to rants or retaliations.  Neither are we to go in the opposite direction of disengaging because we disagree or get offended or don't get our way.  These behaviors are childish and are not the marks of a maturing Christian.

No, our responsibility is to keep our eyes on JESUS, as our Alpha and our Omega, being willing to have our character turned inside out before Him so He can remove spot and blemish, as OUR part in sanctifying and preserving the unity of the Body.

Keep your eyes on your walk, and if disagreements arise – which they will – be quick to go into the Throne Room of Grace so your Alpha can also show Himself to be your Omega!  

Godspeed!

Happy: Too Often The Enemy's Bait

"We discovered we get along so much better being apart. It was amicable. I'm happy." 

"I got so tired of fighting the urges. I just got it one day; I had to have been born this way. I'm happy." 

I hear or read comments similar to the ones above so frequently now I do believe there is a pandemic, but it's an attack on the soul. 

Have we forgotten so completely that we were REborn into a fight? 

Every human being longs to be happy. We spend hard earned money in the pursuit of it. Everything from a barista cup of coffee, to a delicious meal, to a snazzy new outfit, to a vacation, and on and on it goes. It seems the totality of mankind is on some constant endorphin hunt. 

We, as Christians, were not reborn into God's family to do as the world. We are not supposed to continue the constant carnal endorphin hunt! While God intends us to enjoy aspects of pleasure along the way, we are not to forfeit His standard for "happy"! We were reborn into God's family primarily to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH. 

That means taking on words like endure, perseverance, discernment; looking past your happiness to see the tactics of the enemy AND deciding NOT to participate in his plan. 

Happy is his bait. He knows we all long for it. 

Time is our Achilles heel. We want whatever.... be it an object, a resolution, peace, change.... NOW. All he has to do, what he has been doing since the Garden, is be there when we so-call reach the proverbial end of our rope. 

I truly am stunned and alarmed at the number of people so easily giving in to his ploys. Your emotions nor frankly your weariness are to dictate your dedication to God. 

Time and again, God tells us IF we walk with Him, seeking Him first.... (and let me just say here that is NOT code for Him joining your page, your petition, your ways....shame on us for attempting to stoop the Creator to a subsurvatant level)... He will grant to us whatever we lack to fulfill our part in the Fight. 

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine said, "Yeah, people look at us with this air of 'lighten up'." My response to those people? Tighten up! Reign in your impulses and your carnality, and remind yourself Christ died NOT for your frivolity! 

I'll leave you with this speech from Rocky and a passage from Philippians. When I read Rocky's speech recently, I could not help but hear chords of God's heart for His people. He says similar words to me regularly, and I imagine He says similar words to you. By evidence though, fewer and fewer are listening, and even fewer are heeding God's encouragement to stay in the Fight, being dedicated to uphold His standard.

"Let me tell you something you already know; the world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place. And I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers, saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or nobody! Cowards do that! And that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens, You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself (in Christ), ya ain't gonna have a life." ( The words "in Christ" I added for the purpose of Christian resonance.) 

"Therefore, my beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved....Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Yet I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..... Nevertheless you have done well that you shared in my distress."Phil 4 

Don't fall for the bait of pursuing "happy" and foreit the eternal prize that comes from enduring and persevering. 

As Ben Stuart said so aptly recently, "You were not set free from struggle. You were set free TO struggle." 

Be found NOT with a cool drink on a beach lounger, but armored up, wisely assessing your enemy, willing to go all the way for the One who went all the way for you! 

It's so easy to quit. Many, many "happy" quitters these days. 

Be an endurer. Be a finisher. For Him. 

Ever, only, always for Him. ❤️

Sow Your Expectations

The reality is if you want the best, sow the best. 

Hold yourself to a higher present standard if you want life to be better in the future. 

One thing is absolutely for certain: betterment of anything does not happen without great effort.

Ever heard of entropy?  It is the literal current in which we all swim. 

"A tendency in nature for systems to proceed toward a state of greater disorder or randomness." 

So, if you exert little to no effort in your daily life, do not be surprised when your job, your relationships, and even your bank balance are not what you hoped them to be. 

Laziness will be evident in your life....no hiding the lack of fruit.... but take courage, so too will hard working stewardship be evident by the fruit IT bears!

Run With Haste

For as long as I can remember back, I have had a craving to know God. One of the many stories my mother has reminded me of more than once in my fifty years is how exuberantly I responded to the pastoral Sunday morning altar calls.... often...very often.  She says I had a crush on the pastor. I do recall his kind countenance, but honestly, I remember fear far more.  Not of the pastor, but rather fear at just how woefully ill-equipped  I was to navigate LIFE alone.

Life is daunting, overwhelmingly so when one quiets themselves long enough to go face to face, toe to toe, with the fact we have zero control outside of our soul. I don't need to look past the housing of my soul (ie: my body) for confirmation of the zero-factor; I do not even control the ability to take my next breath.

Yet, God did gift to me and to you one hundred percent control over our soul which is comprised of three facets; the mind (thoughts), the will, and the emotions. 

Slow your row for a moment. Take more than a moment right now to think on those three facets and how you permit them to influence you each and every day.  

The mind.

The will.

The emotions.

Now here's the million dollar question?  Do you live "willy-nilly" out of any one or more of those three? 

Do you let your own thoughts dictate to you what is truth, what is right?  "What I think is..."

Do you let your will dictate what you will be doing today?  "What I want to do...."

Do you let your emotions dictate the mood you find yourself in even now? "What I feel is..."

If you do, you are being robbed, duped, living subpar.

Our soul apart from the Captain WILL BE a lethal foe to us, destroying our destiny right down to our quality of life.  You and I were NEVER meant to captain ourselves. 

Seriously, think on that.  The created knowing what, how, and when to do anything apart from the Creator is utter foolishness, but how many people proceed following themselves daily - whatever thought pops into their head, they run with it - whatever their to do list demands, they run with it - whatever emotion they wake up to, they run with it.  Not so much as even taking a pause to ask God, "What do You want of me today?"  

God beckons us, "Come to Me - you who are weary."

The one thing I have found that wearies me quicker than anything else is if I roll out of bed with my soul being in charge.  It's a deliberate move on my part as I sit with God in the early morning to hand over my soul, asking Him to correct it. I don't have the pretense that I can do it apart from Him. 

Some days, there might be an arrow or two the enemy fires off at me right from the beginning. Other days, it is an all out assault.  On days that I fail to mindfully hand over my soul it is blatantly apparent to everyone I encounter.  (Word: It is blatantly apparent of your life too.) 

He has provided the solution for you and for me, but we have to act on it. I must come to Him with the understanding I am nothing apart from Him and I can do nothing - including direct myself - apart from Him. Second, in Ephesians, we find the passage concerning the putting on of the Armor of God.  There has to be a deliberate mindfulness of putting it on EVERY day just as there is a deliberate mindfulness putting on of my natural clothes EVERY day.  It does not simply occur. Only after taking these two steps can I have the hope of proceeding in the direction HE desires.

As we begin this new year, deep in my soul I ache to know Him more.  I sat with Him this morning with a prayer, "Lord, I want to be even more mindful of You this year than last, even more instep with You. I so desperately want to know You; how You are on any given day. Let this year be more about You and less about me, please."

I don't know about you, but the older I get, the more I understand both the need and the blessing of leaning on Him for my everything.  But the greater treasure that this life tends to rob us from exploring to great depths is knowing Him...not knowing about Him.... but knowing Him; discovering what brings Him joy, what brings Him sadness ...is His heart hurting, if so I want to know... is His heart happy, if so I want to know.  I so desire to line my soul up greater still, such that I am in sync with Him and He with me.  How about you?   (Word: Part of that challenge is holding up - surrendering - to Him what we think we already know about Him. Remember, our soul is our worst hinderance apart from His Captainship.)

As I sat this morning, I smiled at the little girl I was so long ago, making haste down the aisle to the altar to her God.  She knew then what she knows now: life apart from Him is all over the place and profoundly empty and meaningless. What a gift it is to be able to hand our soul over to Him!

I pray your 2021 will be a year of mindfulness; how you walk and with whom you walk. 

"Though none go with me, still I will follow...."   

Lead on, Lord! With haste, I'm still running to You.... Your forever daughter! ♡

Discord or Harmony?

Mental strongholds: patterns of thought formed before even sentences are possible.

Have you watched a baby?  Really watched them.  They are living sponges. All they have are their senses to tell them of their life just beginning.

Do they hear tones of love OR anger?
Do they see affection OR distance?

Indeed, before they even know what life is they are inputting data without pause that will determine their course for years, possibly their entire life.

But we, as Christian adults, should pause.

I Corinthians 10:24 states, "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of another."

Yesterday, in America, we celebrated "Independence Day."

Mankind has raised the concept of independence to a place of idolatry. Not only rejecting the concept of a Creator and the accountability our position as the created naturally assesses, but also rejecting the concept of becoming a harmonious member of a society, a marriage, a family, and most importantly - the Body of Christ.

There is an evil in all of us that seeks its own way.

Paul wrote the Corinthians a third time, "For I am afraid that when I come, I may not find you as I want you to be... I fear there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, disorder...that I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin, and debauchery in which they have indulged...our prayer is that you may be fully restored...strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace."

Take a moment to slowly re-read those words.
Let them sink in.

Choice and its destiny; 

powerful when divinely embraced for others, 

destructive when egocentrically driven.

Do we make choices to harmonize our sphere by serving another's good before our own or do we make choices of discord, seeking our own?

It's that simple.  Make no mistake; our choices are intentional, no matter what lies we tell ourselves.

The harsher truth is, short of God, mankind tends to duplicate the example set before the eyes and the ears prior to the ability of putting words together is possessed.

This reality takes the responsibility of marriage and family to another whole level... stratospheric level!

My parents determined early in their marriage to read and learn how to become a harmonious unit; and they partnered together towards harmony.  My husband's parents, I am left by observation, mostly chose independence. Dad did his thing; mom did her thing.

Subsequently, I came into marriage with the belief every married couple sought to harmonize, yet my husband's reference point was, well, not that. When I would inquire where he was going or when he would be back, he bristled.  It took me some time to figure out his reaction to my persistent petitions of accountability was rooted in the independence in which he was raised.

Begs the question: do our beginnings - good or not so good -  excuse our present? Absolutely not.

Go back and read what Paul wrote to the Corinthians. We all have beginnings that miss the bulls-eye of God! Paul counted himself among the worst of beginnings.

It is not how we begin, but how we choose to persist.

In a day and age when people are screaming for individual rights to the point of rioting, Christians among themselves need to be representing and living God's sovereign heart for harmony. For the married couple, start with your marriage. For Christian singles, work on harmonizing within the Body of Christ, strengthening relationships as you edify others before you seek out edification.

I challenge each of you as a student of God, regardless of your beginning, bring yourself under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit and allow His correction to re-shape that which perhaps was misshapen from birth.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child. thought as a child, reasoned as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." (I Corinthians 13:11)

Paul made a choice that changed the trajectory of his life. In fact, he made many, many choices every day that kept him on God's track, so that he could confidently say, "I will know fully just as I also have been fully known."

How's Your Hearing?

Depravity is defined as "moral corruption; wickedness"

No matter how good you believe yourself to be, you are depraved.  I know, I know, no one likes to be in that camp, but fact is this side of Glory, we all are.

There is not a single day where you and I don't have to make the intentional decision to live for righteousness and then proceed through our day vigilantly on guard, empowered by and listening to the Holy Spirit. The condition of our relationship with the Holy Spirit is KEY to both our success and our failure. For if we think we can grieve the Holy Spirit through willful sin, glossing over it, never repenting, we become dull of hearing, and duller with each passing day, until we are utterly deaf to His shaping, correcting, and directing words.

There is a movie line where a grieving husband references his marriage, "She was horrible to me sometimes; I was even worse to her." Then comes the question, "Did you love her?"  He replies, "More than anything on Earth."  Then come further questions about why the choice of infidelity. The husband replies, "I don't know; I just did it. Sometimes you just do things; you want to take it back, but you can't."

That's depravity.

"I was wrong to treat her the way I did, and she was wrong to treat me the way she did. Now, neither of us has the chance to say I'm sorry."

That's revelation.

Retained sin, persistent strife, velcroed offense, formidable pride all keep us unable to receive Holy Spirit revelation, and subsequent direction, until it is often too late to make amends. It is indeed a ploy of our enemy.

You see, light and dark can not coincide. Once the decision to even taste a morsel of evil is made, fellowship with God immediately breaks until acknowledgement and repentance come.  Look at Adam and Eve.  It took but a taste... a single taste... to break fellowship with God and send them running into hiding. Generations later, the Adams and the Eves of this world are still tasting, still running, still hiding....and still shattering one another in the process.

Question: Are you hiding from both God and spouse as a result of willful sin, trying to formulate a fix of your own making?  It will NEVER work. Not with God. Not with your spouse. Fellowship will remain broken.

Understand, repentance and reconciliation are two separate events.  Repentance ushers in God's forgiveness.  God's forgiveness ushers in reconciliation.  You cannot begin the process of reconciliation without genuine repentance before God.

To gloss over the repulsiveness of sin is at the very heart of human depravity. We must never cease in seeking to see as God sees.  We must never cease in seeking to line up our heart with His.  And we must never cease the all out pursuit of righteousness this side of Glory.  For even Paul stated, "For now I know in part...", but in part beats willful blindness and deafness!

Begin by confessing known sin to God. Confession goes to work on a hard heart.  There are over one hundred Bible verses pertaining to hardheartedness. Look them up.  Study them.  

I am leaving HERE for you a link to Charles Spurgeon's sermon on grieving the Holy Spirit given in 1859. Powerful; if you are short on time, scan down to point three and read through it at least twice.  Until you address hardheartedness and the effects of grieving the Holy Spirit, you will be both blind and deaf.

Life here is SO fleeting. I think about all the many years satan and his cronies successfully robbed me from a proper, righteous, loving relationship with my husband and he with me. While you and I do not possess the ability to control anyone or anything, we do possess the ability to control ourselves and our choices.

I edify you: do NOT participate with the enemy of God, do not be a spouse who persists in selfish, depraved living, who participates in shattering another's soul. Yes, God possesses the ability to heal, but willful wounding is very deep indeed and will leave scars. The only one who wins is satan himself.

"Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,

with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Get rid of ALL bitterness, rage and anger,

brawling and slander,

along with EVERY form of malice.

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other,

just as in Christ, God forgave you."

Eph 4: 30-32

You cannot do the above without GOD,

and GOD cannot be present and active

in your life with known sin.

It's that simple!

Humbly I ask, "How's your hearing?"

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Determine To Be An Overcomer

Just as Christ is, so too determine to be an....

https://youtu.be/R8DIvyBf


"You, dear children, are from God
 and have overcome them (who oppose Him),
because the One who is in you
 is greater than the one who is in the world.
They are from the world, and therefore,
speak from the viewpoint of the world,
and the world listens to them.
We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us,
but whoever is not from God does not listen to us.
This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth
and the spirit of falsehood."
I John 4: 4-6

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